a letter for coming home
So this is Emma. I am still Sister Beazer in my heart but I am home...and the name tag is gone...and I am Emma.
I wanted to write to you, because I think its therapeutic and I'll be honest, I am a horrific journal writer so this is the way I can keep track of my life and have it all written down. As well, I feel like a letter can inspire and motivate.
So I am HOME. I can't believe it. Actually I have been home for about 3 months now, and I will be honest, its a different experience. Some things are easy, some things are hard. Wearing trousers every day? EASY. Being a new person in an old life? HARD. Coming home has made me think about a lot of the things I learned and changed on my mission. One thing that I've learned is that following God always takes priority. And sometimes what he asks us to do seems crazy, sometimes it seems super rational, but whatever it is, we need to do it. When God changes you as a person, and helps you become someone new, you need to stick with it and keep changing and becoming better! That has been harder for me than I expected. I've been trying to fit the new me into my old life, into the old person I was.
I think what I have learned is that..you don't have to fit the new you into your old life. You just be the new you. And you have a new life. Have you ever watched Meet the Robinsons? There is this great quote from Walt Disney that I love in it...
"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." - Walt Disney
And this is true. I want to keep moving forwards and doing new things and being the new me! I want to keep pushing myself, like I did on my mission, so that I can keep growing and improving. My mission was honestly the hardest thing I have ever done, but it was SO good for me because I grew so much as I pushed myself and worked through the hard times. I learned how to trust in God even when I didn't understand the reasons for things.
It has been a struggle to figure out how to keep living and acting on all the new knowledge I have, but I am getting there. How do I do it? By staying close to God. Scripture study, prayer, church, being with good friends and family - these are all things that help me to stay close to my Father in Heaven. They are the things that keep my going on the hard days, the days when I feel like I can't keep it all up. The days I feel I need to revert back to my old self.
God is good. Being changed by being close to God is an amazing thing. I am so grateful I served a mission, because it changed me. I am grateful that I am now home, so I can learn how to apply those changes in real life.
Coming home is hard. But its good.
- Em
